How we communicate differently with different groups of people

Chameleons 

 

 

Definitions according to the (edited) Urban Dictionary

1.      A person who adjusts themselves to fit into whatever happens to be cool at the moment. Includes their appearance, their interests, their opinions, their personalities, often referred to as 'scenesters' 'try-too-hards' or 'idiots'.

2.      (v.) to take on the personality of the person you're with at the moment. This is either done subconsciously, or as a sad attempt to make people like you
(n.) a person who chameleons on a regular basis (i.e. they act different for every person they hang out with)

3.      A person who tries to blend in with a certain crowd, usually preps, just to get the satisfaction of being cool. Of course, they are just fooling themselves that they have a life and are at all interesting.

4.      A chameleon is a middle-sized reptile that can change colors.
They are rather bizarre-looking, because their eyes can point in different directions.
They are famous for their ability to change their color to match their surroundings, hence the nickname, "Chameleon" given to anyone who changes with what's "Popular".

5.      (v.) to take on the personality of the person you're with at the moment. this is either done subconsciously, or as a sad attempt to make people like you
(n.) a person who chameleons on a regular basis (i.e. they act different for every person they hang out with).

When I first read the question for this week’s blog “Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups of cultures?” the picture of a chameleon came to mind because I know that I behave differently with different groups of people.

       Similarly to the aforementioned definitions of the word chameleon, I can talk about people’s favorite subjects to look cool and/or try to match someone’s personality to feel I am one of them. Making efforts to fit in would be fine if I were able to communicate my true feelings and ideas. Whenever I am caught in one of these strategies, I feel uncomfortable with my surroundings; therefore I am unable to be true to myself because what I communicate is not an accurate picture of who I am and what I am capable of.

        It seems fair to think that families from diverse backgrounds may potentially feel uncomfortable when meeting their children’s teachers and may communicate differently than if they were in a more natural environment. Educators must keep in mind that families need to feel safe and at ease in order to become effective collaborators in their children’s school life.       

Although what I have described above seems extreme, this is how it feels and negative feelings take a long longer to change. Since practicing awareness and re-directing of those feelings provides relief, the Platinum Rule is the first strategy I will use to communicate with families, colleagues, and administration and government agencies (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). The Platinum Rule is the passport that provides needed tool to become an effective communicator in diverse groups.  

With this strategy, I do not need to hide behind superfluous language. I can actively listen to speakers and learn from them the best way to communicate with them (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2012). If my goal is to actively listen to people, the thought of matching those people’s personalities will not manifest for lack of opportunity. Once those two feelings of discomfort have receded, I will have access to my own cultural myopia.

Interestingly, the chameleon qualities have changed since there is no more the need to “change color to match the surroundings” (Urban Dictionary, 2013). Rather, I need to peel off layers of negative feelings of discomfort because they prevent me from having access to my own cultural myopia. Thus, developing an ongoing awareness of my cultural myopia is the third strategy I would use to communicate more effectively with those groups of people (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2012). The phrase “cultural myopia” clearly expresses nearsightedness that may increase if not treated in an ever changing society. If the myopia is treated, new lenses help one see the richness in other cultures (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2012).

Reference

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication:

            Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

 O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real Communication:  An Introduction. Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin’s.